Smores

Smores are one of the most dangerous foods known to man. Smores schnapps is one of the most delicious creations known to man.

Hangry is as hangry does

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The craving

you all know the crazy craving you get, where nothing can quite fill the feedbag void, where nothing tastes as good as you know the ultimate find will taste and you'll go to no length to find said craving filler, which includes plowing through the kitchen like a starving bear? i had that craving tonight and it was filled by an old, freezer-burned knish that was shoved in the back of the freezer, under popsicles, meats, more popsicles, and freezer-burned chicken. the precious little knish was exactly what I was craving, and it only took a tuna sandwich, veggie chips, mac and cheese, fish sticks, and a south beach protein bar to figure it out. gross. this wouldn't happen if i lived at a 24hr super wal-mart.

That Hangry Fairy is a Gem

The Hangry Fairy will appear when you least expect it, and provide such insane, yet delicious concoctions. She is easily lured in by Take 5 bars, and gummi bears soaked in vodka, so leave those under your pillow while you sleep, and she will visit you and drop off some delicious and inappropriate ideas. Muwhahhaha...

Shame

I reached a new low today. I wasn't able to finish a Chipotle burrito. I don't think Hank done it this way.

Hangry Fairy

Last night I was visited by the Hangry Fairy. After visiting with my past, present, and future hangry, I was told that I would be handed a new recipe that I should take to the world. All of you should be true believers in the Hangry Fairy today because I was given this new recipe. The Bacon Doughnut Burger sounds amazing. I will be cooking some of these over the next few weeks to perfect my recipe. I will then take it to the world's leading magazine for dorks, "Dork's Illustrated", to try to get this message out to the masses. Pray for me in this time of hope!

Bacon Doughnut Burgers

1¼ pounds ground beef
1 egg
1 teaspoon garlic powder or onion powder (or whatever seasoning you prefer)
salt and pepper
4 slices of cheddar cheese
8 bacon slices
4 glazed doughnuts, sliced in half horizontally
Mix beef with egg and garlic powder, and season lightly with salt and pepper. Form into 4 patties. Cover and refrigerate for about 1 hour. Meanwhile, fire up the grill.

Place burgers on grate and grill until meat is to desired level of doneness. Top each burger with a slice of cheese during the last minute so the cheese will melt. Remove from grill, and let burgers rest 2 to 3 minutes to reabsorb the juices.

Meanwhile, fry bacon in skillet, place on paper towels when done, and pat off grease. Leave about 1 tablespoon of bacon grease in skillet. Place doughnut halves in skillet and fry over medium heat until slightly toasty. Alternatively, place doughnut halves on grill over low heat until toasty.

Place patties on doughnut halves, top each with two bacon slices and remaining doughnut halves.

Makes 4

Symptoms

The boy on the left is suffering from hangry (among other things). If you find someone in this condition please feed him a bacon sandwich. For the love of god. That's all he wants. One lousy bacon sandwich.

Its all lies

Being naked in your apartment does NOT make you lose weight. That is an urban myth.

Lovely Mild Summer

Be thankful that the summer has been so mild. Hangry related violence increases 10% for every degree above 88 degrees Fahrenheit. When the temperature rises, be on the lookout for symptoms. Remember, only you can prevent hangry.

Posting Comments

Why can I not post a comment? I'm the admin of this blog. On the scale of hungry to angry, I'm pretty damn angry right now!

Too rushed to eat

Again, I ate lunch late as hell. I had to do a million things before I could take a break. And even then nothing would work so now I'm just in an even pissier mood.

So, yeah, in case you can't tell, I'm really new to blogging. I'm generally of the camp that doesn't care to talk about myself that much but I'm trying to fix that. I need to get my voice on the internet. To accomplish that, I'm trying to vocalize my hunger pangs, which usually come in the late afternoon, and mix in a little discontent to show that when I'm hungry, I'm really hangry.

DIET DEMON

why is it that every time i attempt to diet, taco bell comes out with a new fantastic creation? first, the crunchwrap supreme, then the grilled stuft burrito, then the volcano burrito, and now the bacon potato cheese burrito of happiness. it's as though they know my plan and do everything they can to taunt me. taco bell, you are my kryptonite.

Late Lunch

Finally, I can eat! It's 6.30 and I'm now just sitting down for lunch.